“This Sugar Is Eating My Bones” (A Crevasse With A Veiw)

Stainless skin moves round in clockwise circles of ink.

Pacing the cemented down stainless steel oval of tables that have worn too many men’s impressions to go unmarked. 
I sit.
Cold in my oversized orange dress & watch these callused conferences carrying into cackles & I forget. 
Where I am. 
I shit in front of peers & we all wore the same sin. 
I did my hair in the scratched piece of metal called a mirror and brushed my teeth next to those you would not associate with or sit next to on the bus. 
I haven’t slept. 
I wrote this with my back turned & haven’t flinched.
These are not monsters.
These are just men. Artists. Poets. 
Made to wear the wrong skin. 
-Joshua Tool 05/25/17

I know your curves, strokes, moans and bitterness. 
But I am still a conqueror. 
I will be just fine.
You were the epitome of existence. 
Yet I touch myself the same way you do. 

A child.
A new new form of forgetting: 
Teach them what not to do.
I will always have a place in my broken heart for you. 
But I can’t fix you or my heart.
I will just set our world on fire. 

-Joshua Tool 05/22/17

When My Hands Stop Shaking, I Will Paint You In The Dark

This is not a protest song. 
This is an unstated pledge of allegiance. 
I know my cogs have followed a different sun than we had originally walked under. 
But I am exactly who Ive always been. 
I riot for misunderstood peoples. 
I bury my head for the same kin. 
I have washed my hands in truck stop bathrooms. 
I have showered in Seattle’s finest hotels. 
I am all of these things. 
I am a god dam artist with too many colors to choose from. 
I will not be diluted, though I can be mixed in. 
I am a god damn artist. 
I will die happy starving in your lap, because you will then cherish my art and my sin. 
-Joshua Tool 05/21/17

“My Blood Is Gasoline”

I was born into arson.

I was bred into flames.

Ive walked into the hot embers bare foot.

Ive felt the heat on my toes and ankles; on my thighs and stomach.

I have buried a lot of futures in these smoldering wonders.

I was made to set the world on fire.

Though I changed my hunger to set hearts on fire instead.

Sometimes lips and finger tips as well.

To rise from ash is to become the true sense of one with the vibrant vibrations that these fires have condensed into a different note.

From lighter. to bon fire to fire barrel.  I have walked every rise and fall that is flammable.

And I will always burn.

I will always burn for anything flammable.

I will always burn for you.

To rise.

From the ashes.

To light your lips, your home or to just keep you warm wherever you land.

I will never stop burning.

I was born into a chemical exchange that kills, yet man is still obsessed with it to this day.

I am fear and curiosity.

I am love and generosity.

I am death and I am life.

I am no different than you.

I just combust under a different temperature.

I was born an arsonist.

And I will never stop rising from the ash.

-Joshua Tool 05/21/17

 

“Patients Is A Virtue” 

In the waiting room

As I watched the hands of the clock on the wall overlap into another day

The moon pulled tides through my eyes

I washed my face in the tope hospital bathroom

What a mundane tone to clean yourself in

I carried myself heavier than usual

I looked for five familiar things

I paced

I felt four sinking pits in my chest, head, heart and stomach

I heard three intertwining voices resonating over the beeping of the heart monitors

I paced

A cluttered dichotomy of cologne and sterile hallways consumed my nose as I tasted the tinny blood of my tongue as I bit down to distract myself from all my sinking pits.

I sat

I stretched my limbs and cracked my knuckles

Folding my palms over my face

The clock hands now vertically aligned

I was silent

In the waiting room

The doctor came out

“Sir?” She firmly questioned

“Yes?” I stuttered, shaking as I rose from my cold seat

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes, I just came to let you know that everything went great” She affirmed with a boisterous smile

“OH, THAT’S AMAZING! So it’s going to be alright?”

“Yes, your love is going to be just fine. Just take good care of it and it should live to see a long and happy life.” She stated with an informative and stately exuberance.

“Thank You Thank You! Yes, yes of coarse, I will never let my love slip again. I will take the very best care of it from here on out.” I promised with true conviction

Leaving the waiting room

The sun piercing through the blue morning dew

From that day on

My love has never left me

As I shared it with you

Our love has never left us.

 

-Joshua Tool 05/10/17