“Heart Shaped Handicapped Sticker”

a limp

Something that brings attention

Like your smile but crueler

I try to dance it off

Cacti swimming in my blood

Tingle and pierce

I shake my bum leg

I walk to you and kiss you on the mouth

I fall and kiss you on the hand

My princess

I am paralyzed from all of the years walking the wrong way

Away from you

-Joshua Tool 01/23/18

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“Sazerac”

Chipping my teeth on hotel ice left over from the bucket we had chilled the champagne in

You stared out into the down pour that was Portland, or was it Seattle?

I don’t remember, it was my birthday and I was drunk

White noise slapping the streets as it’s mist passed through the screen on the half opened window

I guess you aren’t allowed to open windows fully in hotels anymore

Too many jumpers

Window still open, I set the bucket of half melted ice on the dresser

I wonder if it will rain all night? I thought to myself

I hope it does

Something so perfectly tangible about rain

and calming

cleansing

Like no matter how much blood I drool on my shirt, somewhere there is grass growing greener

Window still open, we cleaned out the mini bar and jumped

Right into bed

the mist beading on our faces

We chipped our teeth on each other’s

I passed out with my socks on

It would be and Irish breakfast in bed

and It was still raining

-Joshua Tool 01/20/18

“Empty Spaces”

I find a tub

One that has feet

And that can also accommodate my scraggly limbs

And it sits in the living room

It is not hooked up to any plumbing so I bathe in only sun from the window

Splashing on dust and the furniture that has scratched the old wooden floors

and staring at the exposed brick walls

That look as if someone where playing piano when the mason had nestled them together

Tones bouncing and falling

The mortar dripping and hardening

I sit until my spine hurts like an over used bible

And stare at the dancing dust

I think about painting the ceiling cerulean

And decide that would be hideous

I think about Love

And what it means

I think about you

But I also think about me

And how there isn’t room for two in this tub

And I’m okay with that.

-Joshua Tool 01/19/18

“Memory Foam”

That single moment when I forgot what it’s like to share a bed

Was the day I truly let go of you

Now I leave my dirty socks all over floor and leave the light on until 4 am

-Joshua Tool 01/15/18

“Thoughts In The Shower”

Life has giving me so much soil

Some from my fathers hand

Some from my mothers heart

Some from my brothers pocket

And I have planted many gardens

And didn’t bother to water them

If somehow I can remember to water the earth I was gifted

I too, someday might give you a rose

-Joshua Tool 01/14/18