I hear sirens scream past my street about 5 times a day…
I am always worried they are coming for me.
Because I have stolen too many breaths from favorite poets and too many hearts in my memories.
I sit and write
These cancer sticks have replaced where I used to breathe on your neck and ears.
You’re now a soundtrack to my biggest fears.
Like listening to someone talk underwater.
“I’m not waving, I’m drowning” – P.O.S.
I wade in sweat and sips of what was once your perfect scent.
Or at least what I believed was you.
I’m still treading, waiting for someone or something to pull me from the depths.
I hope they jump in soon because I am gasping and as a smoker I don’t have the endurance to tread as long as I used to.
I hear sirens again.
I think this time they are coming for me.
-Joshua Tool 07/23/17