“Tumulus Nimbus”

My Headstone

Moss ridden and wormy writhed

A chisel misquoted my demeanor

A forgotten face like analog

They hover with nosegay

To pet and pray, my marrow-less shell

Entombed in a echo chamber

An ever lasting anatomy

of a decomposing time

To stretch like my once plump fleshy rolls

Cats claw pink down my sides

Crinkled corners passed down to type

They have misquoted my demeanor

Lost in the swell of cicada song

Shed thin as light

A rapture of the rising tide

Complaisant, emaciated bellow the shrine

Warbles and willows

As the graveyard groundsman mows the lawn

They misquoted my time

-Joshua Tool 05/24/18

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“To The Top Of The Turret Shell”

Manically myopic I have found myself in black opal

In the glean of your gaze

A constellation of cygnets danced in the mood of onyx

A salsa on the sand

One thousand miles and counting

In our amorous abode of the rising sun

I picked the carrion pith from my teeth

A chagrin in my carry

But not need for the sullen, the heart bleeds and pumps

A lurid language of lust and persnickety restlessness

My moon, your moon, theirs as well

Careening our carnal deeds, the current pulled in

I hung my hat and flag

You lay with moxie, me and him

Compelled in our quandary to find the centaur in the sky

Flaming arrows to light the streets

1,000 miles and counting

To drive or retreat

-Joshua Tool 05/15/18

“Zugzwang”

Loitering the weekly chess match

A park and a landfill betwixt

Chrysalis complimented flight the insects coaxed the breeze into kaleidoscope melodies, like frogs in bogs

My moor of peaty wanderlust with a lowbrow stagnancy of wasted earth catty-corner my serene solace land

My famished furver found facet of a dream

We are left here without boxes

Without circles

Though we are birthed ear-marked for an inexorably nostalgic future

To be remembered only by our online presence and digital love

Lamenting for simpler times

Stead the over-saturated air waves

A trite & tousled trap

Hexed in bewildering and tenuous thought

The malleable make good cities as the myriad of martyrs build better jails

A forced hand in the farce of society

Inured ingrates mocked the sun

The icebergs

The flood

The round earth as it spins on its axis

No poker face bled your physiognomy

A lier to himself

It was time to chose a forfeit or slow passing

Zugzwang

And the clouds did shed their acid tongues

Checkmate

-Joshua Tool 05/12/18

“Nocuous By Nature”

Cryptic flowers;

Chartreuse , Lavender, Cerulean, Blush

Bloom & pilfer the sun

Boasting proud necks and handsome colours

Black permeates the eclipsing clouds

They march closer in timpani rolls

as flash-bangs light their way

A late afternoon without sun or moon

Forlorn in the ether

Such affluent clusters of corrupted colour

A conduit to qualm

I strung my nihilism into a daisy chain

I drove my feet through the rhododendrons until morose became moot

I cyphered your colour wheel

The nascent of my afterthoughts

A beginning to and end

-Joshua Tool 05/11/18

“ If These Walls Could Talk”

I,

An old house

Do not feel lived in

I’ve been painted 100 times

Made it through two fires, a home birth, four pet deaths and a suicide

Yet I do not feel lived in

My pipes are rusted

I spit mud from the sink

I have seen 200 Christmas mornings, 938 birthday parties & 7 wakes

My walls have rattled with storms and basement parties; stained with smoke and smiles

Though I do not feel lived in

From spinsters to cowboy spitters

I have watch generations of toy trains get put into boxes

Young married couples come inspect me and plan a nursery in my vacant spaces

I’ve watched them grow old as their children leave for college

I’ve been handed down 15 times

Now they are making room for some condos

A bulldozer sits in my fields and I where a flag of foreclosure

I never quite felt lived in

But this is my burial ground

I will still listen under the packed dirt for happy tenants playing

For those Christmas mornings & birthday parties

For those college students smoking on the balconies of my successor

You may break me to pieces but my walls will stand posthumously through the wreckage

I,

An old house

Have seen it all

Or at least thats what I thought

Maybe I have always been a home

Without the sense to let go

-Joshua Tool 05/05/18

“Ornate”

Brazen, brash, clickity-clack

Your mouth ornamented, unsavory ash

To speak with flames that follow paths

Of future me, unlike my past

A bruised drupe, strung through your teeth

I pick my pride up from your feet

I find my fork and start to eat

All those flames from hearts that beat

To share the dark would tickle me

To light a spark and finally see

The finished you that will not speak

Of devils spit that burns your cheek

Brazen, brash, clickity-clack

Your mirror ornamented, infinite lapse

When waves follow through, the flames become rasp

I’m leaving tomorrow and not coming back

Brazen, brash, clickity-clack

Goodbye

-Joshua Tool 05/04/18

No Oasis For Old Orchids

Our relationship was like the orchids I forgot to water for months.

So beautiful and full of color and life and potential for growth in the beginning; but I forgot to water you.

And like my orchids the sun took you away.

Burnt up and burnt out.

I stayed inside for weeks at a time after that.

Watering my liver down with an endless stream of alcohol, while I talked with my shadow about how badly it wished to be cast at my feet in the sun once more.

To run through the sprinklers and shower storms.

I finally made it outside again, but I sit in the shade.

I sit and smoke

and tremble.

I am not a religious man but for some reason I found myself in a prayer position.

My hands pressed flatly together against my lips, pointed towards the sky, dissecting my face in a vertical fashion.

My thumbs pushing into my lymph nodes.

Staring at the garden as I ponder if this was a taught position or instinct.

Somehow it felt right.

Like biting your nails before a job interview, or pacing in the waiting room of a hospital.

I play in the dirt in hopes to dig up some pieces of me that got burnt up in our drought.

I shook.

My DTs were acting up again.

Better get something to water them down.

I pushed my lips to the soft tops of my knuckles on my now balled fists.

Like at least I won’t let go of me. But I would.

I then pulled my head back and separated my fused fingers.

Even I let go of me.

 

We grew & loved within a carnal connection;

until the weather changed for the worse and withered.

My heart. My art. My blind and trusting romanticism.

Everything I worked for

 

I was doing alright before I met you,

and now even I let go of me.

“Skin Graft”

I saw a window.

It was of the inhabitants of our nocturnal natures.

I kissed your hand in this mirror and you kissed my forehead back.

We wore matching outfits like a fucking Gap commercial.

It was solid baby blue sweaters with paisley under button-ups.

I loved it.

And than the house caught fire with flames like we had burned for each other.

The firefighters started blasting their green phallic water “whatevers” onto the flames as the smoke rose and the window broke.

My mirror is gone.

I only look at a soggy ember memory.

I saw myself try to jump out of that window for self preservation.

But I never quite reached the guts.

Now I have a chard face that no-one, not even I, had the stomach to look at.

So maybe its good the window broke…

But the memory remains.

You were burned into it, as I tried to douse the passion with my own salty watery eye drop “whatevers” onto it.

I go back to that house from time to time.

Luckily there is still not a mirror to reflect my unrecognizable face, but your memory still lives in those blackend walls.

I mostly sit there and think…

And weep for our perfect mirror.

If only I had enough water to lend, we could still reflect in that nightly window.

Exposed and perfect.

Next time I will…

I will put you first out of the mirror and use my water to save our window.

-Chronicles Of A Flame

-Joshua Tool 06/14/17

“This Sugar Is Eating My Bones” (A Crevasse With A Veiw)

Stainless skin moves round in clockwise circles of ink.

Pacing the cemented down stainless steel oval of tables that have worn too many men’s impressions to go unmarked. 
I sit.
Cold in my oversized orange dress & watch these callused conferences carrying into cackles & I forget. 
Where I am. 
I shit in front of peers & we all wore the same sin. 
I did my hair in the scratched piece of metal called a mirror and brushed my teeth next to those you would not associate with or sit next to on the bus. 
I haven’t slept. 
I wrote this with my back turned & haven’t flinched.
These are not monsters.
These are just men. Artists. Poets. 
Made to wear the wrong skin. 
-Joshua Tool 05/25/17